Helpless & fragile

My cousin Kylie gave birth to a boy on Tuesday June 26th. He died on Sunday July 1st. After church on Sunday I received a call from Kylie to come down to the Women’s & Children’s hospital as soon as I could. Her and her partner wanted me to perform a baptism and blessing for their fragile baby as they had now come to the point of making the decision of turning off the machines and letting their fragile little boy die.
It is so hard to come to terms with the fragility and mortality of life. We watch on helpless to do anything at times but we live in a world of possibilities and amazing medical and technological break throughs. There is always that lingering hope in our minds that the miracle we’re looking for will come through.
But what about when it doesn’t. How do we face the reality of our own inadequacy and helplessness? How do we embrace the reality of accepting that there are things we cannot control and allow ourselves to grieve appropriately?
For this fragile little life there was nothing that could be done. He was born with an underdeveloped heart that even a mercy flight to Melbourne couldn’t fix. I preformed a ritual beside the tiny bed where he lay with his parents beside me. It was a ritual of letting go and handing this fragile life back to God. And we were left with our own fragile emotions that we’d rather push deep down and our helplessness that we don’t know what to do with. Yet helpless is not hopeless and so we live on in the hope that God gives strength to the helpless and holds onto the fragile and we learn that little bit more how precious the gift of life is.

Shalom, Mark

From the very beginning I loved you,As I made plans to hold you and rock you:You were tiny and helpless as you lay in my womb,But something went wrong and soon you were gone;My young heart was broken, my tears fell like rain,I'd never known such heartache and pain.
I wonder who you look like, me or your dad,Do you have my smile and his eyes?Would you have been big and tall or tiny and small?We had dreams for you that reached to the skies.It was long, long ago and I still miss you so,Thanks to Jesus, I'll see you in heaven.
I'll hold you in heaven someday,When my trials on earth pass away;The angels have rocked you, the Father watches over you,I know you're waiting for me;I never could hold you or tell you "Goodbye",But I'll hold you in heaven someday. .
(c) 1998 Jo Ann Taylor